I’m starting to wonder if this is how they promote at my fucking piece of shit store. LOD #1::” Hey, see that lazy ass looking mother fucker over there?” LOD #2:”Yeah, what about him?” LOD #1: “Well, see how he is standing there doing nothing and scratching his ass, and picking his nose? I think he might be a good candidate to be our next TL over in Hard Lines.” I swear, this place is a fucking joke and I seriously think this is how they actually decide to do the promotions since I have yet to see ANY Team Lead or LOD EVER do any ACTUAL WORK. The fact that these lazy mother fuckers can stand around and bitch to everyone about how no one is working harder or faster is beyond me. Hey dumbfucks, how about getting out on the sales floor and do some actual “hard” work (we all know that the concept of this is an oxymoron to the LOD’s at Target) so that we know just what the fuck you are all talking about. There are 2 new team members at work there, and I swear, 1 of them is a child molester, and the other 1 acts like he belongs in a mental health care facility, but there are both buddy buddy with the GSTL, so I know they are both going to be the next 2 people to get the promotions.  I clocked into work one day and just jumped on a register, and this is pretty much my scenario every shift: GSTL:”So, how many RED cards have you gotten today?” Now, at this point, I don’t even fucking care about getting fucken RED cards anymore because they don’t treat me with any type of respect whatsoever, so I figure, since they all want to ass rape me and not have the decency to at least lube up first, then I can at least return the favor to them by fucking them over in whatever way I can. Me:”Me? None, I just clocked in 30 seconds ago.” GSTL:”Exactly, I expected you to already have 237 by now, and 5 minutes from now, I want you to at least have 1369 RED cards, we gotta make the quota.” Oooooooooooooohhhh, Whoopdie-Fucking-Doo, the quota.

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So I made it to two months of employment at this hell hole of a store.

I was hired in October as a deli production team member. This is where the bullshit begins. I had applied as a cashier but was convinced to accept a deli position under the impression (lying by omission) that this position was not seasonal and was full time. Later on I was informed that basically “everyone is seasonal since you all start on a 90 day probation”. Fair enough. Little do they tell you that’s just code for they can fire you for any and no reason.

I took the position and was assured if I felt uncomfortable I could always ask to change my department. Okay, great. Not. They began to work me to death immediately. Long days. Many days in a row. Little days off. i thought things were going well. I was working the same pace as my peers. I was happy. Then I got my performance review. I was told I was “too slow” and “not engaging the guests enough” but that if I improved i stood a chance. So I tried harder. I thought things were going well.

approximately one month after my hire I found out I was expecting. My fiance and i were overjoyed. Still are. I told my coworkers and my leaders. Then i got called in for coaching. Once again the “you’re too slow” speech. I told my lead that i was fatigued because im pregnant. I was assured that she would help me and find me a department where i would he able to take it easy until my baby was born.

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So I took a part time job at Target for some extra holiday money . I figured since I shopped there pretty frequently, having an extra discount would come in handy . Let me also preface the rest of this by saying I’m a 40 year old with a degree and and have worked my fair share of bullshit jobs in my life . Unfortunately nothing could have prepared me for the soul sucking black hole that is Target . The first few weeks weren’t so bad . The pay completely sucked but I was being paid to pull merchandise forward . A fucking monkey could do my job . But then, shit changed as the weeks went on . The one thing I learned real fast was that if you actually do a decent job at work, you’ll end up doing all the hard tasks they don’t want to give to the other lazy fuckwits. Great. I get to work twice as hard for the same pay. Who wouldn’t want that sweet deal?

Next up . The awesome LOD’ s . Seriously, what a bunch of incompetent, rude, corporate lackeys. I actually had one of mine tell me “Less talk, more work” while customers, I mean “guests” were right in earshot . Seriously, you twat? Who the fuck talks to someone like that? Oh, I’m sorry . God forbid I derive any pleasure whatsoever from this job . It’s almost like they’re trying to weed out the non obedient sheep from the herd by being such complete dicks. You want respect from me? How about treating me with some respect asshole. Maybe it’s because when time for recognition comes around I never open my mouth . Take your Vibe cards and shove them up your ass too.

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“Hate” is such a strong word but lots of bulls eye people(current and past team members) truly hate Target from the cart attendant who has to clean up that guest’s shit and piss in the rest room before he can find time to wipe his own ass to the cashier who puts up with these ignorant lying disrespectful  customers to the sales floor team member who is sometimes robbed of his breaks because he is the only one in Hardlines. “Can I help you find something?” Bitch please. Give it a rest already. I need my fucking  break! If you think slavery is abolished think again!! Think TARGET!!! Working at some of our local area Targets is like working in the cane fields in Africa. You see, the heating and cooling systems are horrendous–well fuck it no cooling really the stores are just plain HOT! ALL YEAR ROUND! Worst yet for the cart attendants who has to face the heat outside and then inside the store at summer time Team members and guests alike are bitching and complaining!

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