Target Sucks - We Hate Target and We Know We're Not Alone.

December 20, 2012 - Targetcansuckmybigthickmeatyone

WTF do the LOD’s and TL’s actually do at this store????

I’m starting to wonder if this is how they promote at my fucking piece of shit store. LOD #1::” Hey, see that lazy ass looking mother fucker over there?” LOD #2:”Yeah, what about him?” LOD #1: “Well, see how he is standing there doing nothing and scratching his ass, and picking his nose? I think he might be a good candidate to be our next TL over in Hard Lines.” I swear, this place is a fucking joke and I seriously think this is how they actually decide to do the promotions since I have yet to see ANY Team Lead or LOD EVER do any ACTUAL WORK. The fact that these lazy mother fuckers can stand around and bitch to everyone about how no one is working harder or faster is beyond me. Hey dumbfucks, how about getting out on the sales floor and do some actual “hard” work (we all know that the concept of this is an oxymoron to the LOD’s at Target) so that we know just what the fuck you are all talking about. There are 2 new team members at work there, and I swear, 1 of them is a child molester, and the other 1 acts like he belongs in a mental health care facility, but there are both buddy buddy with the GSTL, so I know they are both going to be the next 2 people to get the promotions.  I clocked into work one day and just jumped on a register, and this is pretty much my scenario every shift: GSTL:”So, how many RED cards have you gotten today?” Now, at this point, I don’t even fucking care about getting fucken RED cards anymore because they don’t treat me with any type of respect whatsoever, so I figure, since they all want to ass rape me and not have the decency to at least lube up first, then I can at least return the favor to them by fucking them over in whatever way I can. Me:”Me? None, I just clocked in 30 seconds ago.” GSTL:”Exactly, I expected you to already have 237 by now, and 5 minutes from now, I want you to at least have 1369 RED cards, we gotta make the quota.” Oooooooooooooohhhh, Whoopdie-Fucking-Doo, the quota. That makes me almost as happy as the shitty fucking 3 cent raise I got last year. You know, I had such a hard time figuring out what to do with all those extra millions I was making after I bought my Lamborghini. The GSTL then tells me:”Here’s a list of 500 things I want you to do before the end of your shift, while I waddle my fat lazy ass back over to Checkstand 1 and play Angry Birds and text all of my friends to find out where the party is at tonight and just stand around bitching and complaining about how hard my job is and just how important I actually am.”  We actually had a team huddle once, where the STL basically said “You know, because of a certain person here, we have won the Red Card contest and that means I get a $250,000 bonus, thank you for that. Hey, why don’t you go over to Dollar Spot and pick out the cheapest fucking thing there, and that’s your reward for making ME look good, even though I didn’t actually do any work.” One time one of the GSTL’s asked me:”So, have you VIBE’d today?” You know, if I was a female, I would tell them:”That’s none of your fucking business, what I do at home by myself is not any of Target’s concern.” The LOD’s and the GSTL’s have been sneaking up behind me while I am cashiering to see if I have been asking guests to get the Red card. well, now that I have caught on to them, and I can sense their presence, whenever they do that, I always fart when they are behind me. They have quit doing that ever since, because I guess they were tired of going into the bathroom to throw up after smelling my horrible smelling farts. One of my GSTL’s has been on me ever since I proved her wrong and made her look like an idiot in front of a guest. Ooooohhhh, that’s too bad, now she knows how it feels to be disrespected and treated like a fucking 5 year old in front of guests, like they always fucking do to us.  I love it when these young punks right out of High School get left in charge of the lanes when the GSTL goes to lunch, and I always tell them, I’ll watch the lanes for you, and they look at me like, You???? You don’t know what you’re doing,. Yeah, asshole, or bitch, that’s why I am almost done with my Master’s Degree in Business Management, and have 20 years retail experience, in fact, i was working before you were even born, but you’re right, you’re a young punk straight out of High School, so obviously, you know more about running the fucking lanes than I do, go fuck yourself. This Friday, the world is supposed to end, and I hope it does, because I would much rather face the oncoming apocalypse and take my chances with that than go face another shitty ass shift at this fucking place. Hey Target, go fuck yourselves in the ass, and don’t use the lube while you are doing it.


Employee Experience / TargetSucks


  • ERROR_AM_I says:

    OMG best rant ever and name ever!

  • 1bluemoon says:

    Nice rant 🙂 Applause...

  • Jonestown says:

    I'm a lead and I think that every day.

    The only reason why I'm still employed and haven't been fired is none of the lazy asses want to, or can, do what I have to do all day long.

    Oh to only be able to sit at TSC and drink Starbucks all day.

  • Jonestown says:

    Hahaha, so another lead got promoted to ETL this week.

    Who knew the position was open? LOL.

    This TL never got their coachings done on time. Never put in strip labels on time, picked a pregnant woman to target and no one can remember the last time the TL actually set a POG.

    The TL does sit at TSC all day, bark commands, makes fun of underlings and hangs with the other ETLs and drinks Starbucks all day.

    Maybe us other TLs who break a sweat every day and want nto cry regularly should change our approach?

    Oh wait, we don't fit the mold. Not going to work.

  • Targetcansuckmybigthickmeatyone says:

    Hey Jonestown, please be aware that I am not targeting (lol, didn't realize that) Team Lead's like you who actually work hard and bust their butts. There are a few at my store that bust their asses as well, and the rest of the Team leads and LOD's treat them like shit. And I'm thinking, why, because they actually, you know, WORK???!!!!! We had one Team Lead that was so lazy, she was the Starbucks TL, that she would go sit at one of the tables at Starbucks and chat and shoot the shit with one of her friends until it was ready for her breaks or her lunch. Sometimes she would even be outside the store, in front of the Starbucks windows for all the store to see talking and chatting away with her friends. But did she get fired? oh hell no, of course not, instead she got promoted. In fact, I am beginning to think that the harder you work, the less chances you will get a promotion. One of my friends who works at another Target put in for a promotion, and they told him he doesn't display courage. I'm like, excuse me, this is a guy who served and fought in the Marines, and was a paratrooper, who jumped out of airplanes, and on the weekends goes and fights fires with the forest service, and they are trying to tell him that he doesn't display courage because he doesn't kiss up to them? There's another TL, the main GSTL, and talk about a super-mega-bitch-thundercunt. Her whole "job" consists of her standing at checklane 1 with her arms folded and frowning and scowling at us the whole shift. then yelling at us in a nasty voice "You need to smile more and look friendly" excuse me bitch, the one who has the face that looks like a bulldog and causes little kids to cry and scream their heads off when they see it, you want ME to smile more? Fuck off bitch, and while you're at it, put on a fucking pair of pants once in a while, not one person here wants to see your old, ugly fat legs in those mini skirts you always wear, you're not sexy at all, you're just fat, ugly, and old, it's time that you accepted that. Most of the other LOD's and TL's just stand around talking like they are all in High School, as if to say, look at us being lazy while the rest of you work, and in fact we are going to yell at you to do even more stuff. It cracks me up when they yell at us to clock out because they don't want to pay over time or time and a half. Don't they know that time and a half times zero is still zero? Anyways, Jonestown, just wanted to let you know that I wasn't talking about you when I was mentioning lazy Team Leads.

    • Jonestown says:

      True. I was talking the same. The one Sr. Team lead, out of 4, that got promoted in less than 6 months to ETL -- is the one who hung out at Startbucks all day and sat at TSC barking commands over the walkie.

      Pretty much I think you hit it. Those who work their asses off don't go anywhere. Those who suck ass do.

      Somewhere in the unwritten, you should know, Target world; there must be a rule that says "don't promote the ones who do work or you will have to try to dig payroll hours to find at least two or three who can do the same."


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