September 5, 2012 - Angry_Bastard
Starbucks Crack Fix
It’s early December, it’s already way fucking cold. I’m gathering carts, not caring that they’re caked in splattered soda, Icees, nacho cheese, and all sorts of other shit (and probably shit, too). So, I decide to get warm, but stay productive at the same time, so I make my way to the Starbucks and take care of the trash. It’s closing time for the food court, and the lights are out. I start handling the trash, starting from the kitchen. It was like any other shitty night…until I got out of the kitchen.
Soon after dropping a couple of giant trash bags onto the flatbed, I see this middle aged blonde at the counter of Starbucks, looking like she’s waiting for service. Now, as much as I wanted to tell her to fuck off because it’s closing time, I don’t. I was hoping she’d figure it out on her own. But no, she spots me, still by the kitchen door, and like an excited dog, runs up to me. “Excuse me, sir!! Excuse me!!” The bitch was totally fucking loopy, and she’s laughing, showing me her big teeth, and she’s wanting me to make her some coffee. Nevermind the fact that I am bundled up in big brown jacket and an orange vest over it…or that my hands are just covered with garbage after picking it up — it was like “Can YOU make me coffee??” She was still looking at me all bug-eyed until I said calmly, “Ma’am, I’m just the cart guy”, and walked away.
A little while later, I hear from the girl in the kitchen that loopy bitch went into the kitchen and bugged the poor girl, scaring the shit out of her. Jesus Fucking Christ, people treat it like mankind will end if they don’t get their fucking Starbucks fix. They’ll attack like those rage-infected people in 28 Days Later.
(2)Dislikes
(1)Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
You should have just made her coffee...with a little "extra flavoring" from the trash. Just sayin. You gotta look at the positives here. You could have killed her with botulism or diphtheria. Perhaps cholera, even. The possibilities were endless for you.
Don't worry, there will undoubtedly be a next time, since Target sucks major amounts of ball-age.
That bitch was like something out of a Terry Gilliam film. Just really strange.