September 11, 2012 - Angry_Bastard
Standout Moments as a Cart Guy
And now, I present to all of you….well, you read the headline. They aren’t in any particular order.
— It’s a little bit after 10 PM, and I’m making my rounds at one the corners far away, and across the street is some trendy sports bar. A bunch of drunk guys (I presume to be Navy personnel) ask me if I know of any good titty bars in the area, and if I want to join them. Strange. Then I told them, “You’re in Virginia, so there is no such thing as a ‘titty bar’ here (dancers don’t lose their tops). And I don’t need ’em anyway, because I have no trouble getting laid.” Then I go back to grabbing carts.
— Somebody left the cart pusher at the the cart doors in front, and I’m guessing it was the guy who did the shift before me. And nobody had a key to give me to move the thing. By this time, I already didn’t give a fuck, so I just worked my whole shift and left that piece of shit there after the store closed.
— A loud woman comes up to me as I’m pushing carts inside. “‘Scuse me, sir. ‘SCUSE ME!!” I just looked at her, and I’m working while I’m sick and just say, “Did you want something?” She asks me if I could give her a jump start. All she gets from me is, “Ma’am, I’m just the cart guy,” indicating that I’m not here to be anyone’s personal jum starter. Then the bitch asks for me name, which she doesn’t get (and I wasn’t wearing me pin) and told me I was fucking rude. I just went on with my business.
— Just as I’m starting my shift, a guy pulls up behind me — “Excuse me, sir!!” I don’t respond. “EXCUSE ME!!!” “WHAT?!” “Do you know where the *didn’t get the resturant* is??” Without even looking, I just said no. An hour later, after I grab carts from one of the bins in the front of the lot, some asshole in an ’80s Oldsmobile 88 tries to get my attention repeatedly. He’s even more unsuccessful when he starts honking his horn and screaming, “HEYY!!!!”. I just muttered “Fuck you…cunt” as I’m walking away.
— I watch a guy in a Dodge Neon purposely ram his car into a cart while parking. It didn’t seem to phase him. My reaction was, “It’s YOUR car…dumbshit.” Turns out the fucker was a firefighter (it said so on his personalized plate).
— I’m on break sitting in my car, and in the row ahead of me is this mother and toddler putting groceries in the trunk. The boy just drops his pants and just pisses on the pavement…and his mom’s looking on and does nothing to stop or discipline him. Other vehicles were driving by and saw this happening, too. Then, as I’m leaving the car to go back inside, the LOD who resembles Carlton Banks with braces who’s sitting on his ass by the overflow bin tells me to take a motor cart back in. Then he gets up and walks back in. I walk in another direction and leave the motor cart where it is. A customer grabbed it eventually.
— “ARF!! ARF!! ARF!! ARRR-AARR-AARRRR-ARRFFFFF!! BARRK!! BARK!!! BARK!! ARRR-RAWR-RAWR ARFFF!! ARF-ARF-ARF!!!! ARR!! ARR!!!!!” That’s all I heard from the mouth of another LOD. She sounded like one of Michael Vick’s pitbulls. She bitched and bitched about me not responding to walkie calls. I can’t hear shit on those things while I’m pushing a fucking train of carts. And that’s even when I didn’t have KMFDM or Pantera blaring in my ears. Oh well…I didn’t want to get behind a register, anyway.
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This post really made me laugh. I used to work at Kroger & Walmart. Our cart attendants seemed to have very similar problems. I also pushed carts some when I worked at Kroger to help out the "carry out's" (what they are called there)
Great post. Had me rollin!
U said u work in VA what store? and its a very funny post
The Real Person!
The Real Person!
Uh-un, you've gotta be fucking crazy if you think I'm give anymore details pertaining to the location.
LOL! I could go on and on and on about how it pisses me off when people leave their carts out, our ask for your help when you are taking trash or no. Sometimes on a shitty day I will block the ladies restroom for like 45 mins. just slowly sweeping. I've had lines. I just tell them they can't come in.