Target Sucks - We Hate Target and We Know We're Not Alone.

August 20, 2015 - HoneyBadger281

Calling out target for their BS (long rant)

I work currently as a cashier and crossed trained into hard lines. So sit down with your cup of tea and crumpets because this going to be a long one. Lets begin the rant of this giant human centipede clusterfuck of a place shall we?

First of all I have always loved target since I was a kid. I always loved the aroma from food avenue and the pleasant experience from the employees. I was hired in July on the spot because at the time I was absolutely desperate for money and would take anything. I began my first 2 weeks as a cashier. Now here is where things start to get a little strange and should have been taken as a red flag: I wasn’t formally trained on the register by the GSTL or whatever the fuck alphabet soup name target uses.. instead I was thrown a book along with the fake checks, credit cards, etc.. and told “read the book & learn” So pretty much it was just reading and pushing buttons. I found it to be pretty cool, however it didn’t translate well to the real deal along with customers. I refuse to call these monstrous pricks “guests” because target is not a fucking hotel for the love of god. Target does not train you for shit to deal with extreme couponers who don’t seem to read the fine print at all, entitled snobby cry babies who saw the big bad red sign saying it was 90% off the original price it rings up as, or worse: the welfare queens who get raging pissed when their EBT obama-card doesn’t pay for their brand spankin’ new sony speakers instead of I don’t know… PAYING FOR GROCERIES AND BASIC NECESSITIES? (yes one of the customers actually tried this…)

So besides the piss poor training, there is another major problem: RedCards. These plastic cards are what matters ONLY to the STL and ETL. It doesn’t matter if you actually zone properly, put stray carts away, put go backs away, help a customer out the best possible way, or go above the call of duty for you job. These greedy pigs breathe down the LOD, TL, and GSTL throats to sell these damn things all the time. First of all RedCards barely offer shit for savings: a giant WHOOPING 5 PERCENT! (which doesn’t cover tax by the time you use it) The GSTL’s and TL’s will pull people working on their shift into an empty room for the whole red card coaching BS & how it’s soooooooooo important. There is constant harassment from these cart pushers about redcards as well. For some strange reason it is a fetish among these clowns to spy on cashiers or hardlines about redcards. It is creepy entirely… Every day I show up to work I am asked: “So HoneyBadger281, how many redcards did you get today?!” or “HOW MANY REDCARDS ARE U GONNA GET ME TODAY?!” I always respond: “I will try my best” It doesn’t end there however. After about an hour into my shift I will always get coached about “TELL GUESTS ALL THE WONDERFUL BENEFITS OF REDCARDS BLAH BLAH” All this while the imagery in my head is showing a person spewing raw hot steamy bullshit from their mouth during these coachings. First of all this is NOT a fucking commissioned sales job you lying STL and ETL propaganda machine… What is even worse is that when one of us actually gets a customer to sign up for this scam: there is absolutely NO kickback or benefit to us the employee… What is the reward often times? Often it is either “HOW MANY MORE CAN YOU GET?!” or they get on their cute little walkie talkie and start a cult chant of: “CONGRATULATIONS TO SUCKER EMPLOYEE FOR HELPING A GUESTS SAVE 5 PERCENT TODAY, GOOD JOB TEAM, REMEMBER LETS HIT OUR GOAL OF 25 TODAY!!!” all this while some of the shit for brained employees actually CLAP to this chant. Remember folks: RedCards are pushed for a reason.. What is that reason? After some hefty research I discovered that it actually is a corporate commission bonus for the STL and ETL. So basically corporate awards a nice fat hefty bonus to these 2 undeserving clowns who are never in the store. Meanwhile the employee’s who are working for minimum wage, no overtime, and no benefits get jack shit while these 2 are sitting on a beach laughing their asses off at us sucker employees.

My next part of the rant: the customers. First of all I don’t know where to begin with you mindless consumer zombies. It all ranges from the entitlement, rudeness, and just the general all around douchebags a good portion of you guys are. First of all I may be employed here at the store BUT it DOES NOT make me your little slave or whipping boy. I already get fucked around with enough by the upper management and their shenanigans. I certainly do not need more for you guys at all. To the people who always whine and get mad at me when I am cashiering about “THAT IS WHAT THE SIGN SAID” listen up you cretin: I don’t make up the prices around here. My job is very simple if you can’t wrap your acorn sized brain around it: to ring you up as fast as I can, ask you about our lame redcard promotion, bag your items, and tell you to have a nice day. My job is not to play “the price is right” with you. Stop acting all butthurt and offended when I have to get assistance for a price check, then fucking complaining to my GSTL that im being sooooo mean not giving you a fraudulent price by your demand. You can go sincerely fuck yourself with a cactus. What is also another set of customers that grinds my gears? The ones who will fuck up your bags by being an impatient prick and trying to pull out their bag full of overpriced Chinese child labor goods. What typically happens is that they pull it with such great force that they end up pulling about 6 more bags out with it! GOOD JOB ASSHOLE! I will always give these morons the death stare when they do this because that is a huge pet peeve of mine. Not to mention our management actually will bitch us out for WASTING bags. So a big giant fuck you to the mindless consumers who do this. The next set of customers who I wish would randomly burst into flames: the rude spiteful ones. You guys are the the second to none soul crushing part of this job. Seriously get that giant entitlement chip off your shoulder. There is one customer who will always be on my shitlist for time to come: This fat fuck guy along with his 400 pound land whale wife & their OBESE 5 year old come up into my lane with a cart full of groceries. No biggie right? WRONG! Immediately the wife shows me a soda case being messed up beforehand and that I need to go them another one! I told them straight up I just can’t abandon my post and get another case for them. Well these 2 landwhales start throwing a hissy-fit of that they want to talk to my manager and how rude I am being for not being their personal slave. So my supervisor comes over to see what’s going on and suddenly the guy says how I “broke” the case on purpose, how they hired “stupid” employees, and that they should be entitled to a FREE case of soda. I stood there in disbelief trying not to punch this guy in the face & bounce his face off the wall. Luckily my supervisor could sense that these guys were just giant assclowns and the line building up on my lane. So she took them to guest service and rung them up. Good game to my supervisor for not making me lose my mind on these people!

My next and final part of this rant: the store & company. First of all when im doing hardlines and zoning aisles I really do not appreciate being hounded to be a back up cashier when the lines are huge. I dont know… maybe hire some additional cashiers instead of distracting us from doing our jobs?! Oh it gets even better: when I return back from the back up cashiering I always seem to come back to the aisle I zoned to be a complete mess from a little shit kid or a guest with no respect for the store. I just cringe every time and seriously think about just telling all the uppers to go fuck off in their face & not show up for work again. What is worse is that a team lead will often complain about an end cap not looking “good enough” after I zoned it. Well then! why don’t you just do it to your standard then! Finally why hasn’t target updated their registers? Seriously I see run down thrift shops around town with nicer & newer registers than ours! These things always freeze up and glitch out at a constant right. Why don’t you use that redcard commission money to actually update your tech a bit, target? One last part then I will get off my soapbox: Target seems to really hate when you legitimately get injured by an accident. My coworker told me she slipped and fell straight on her back in the bathroom. When she went to management about this and according to her it went like this: They get really pissy and start hounding her for the rest of the shift. Later on that week her hours started getting cut in the most passive aggressive way possible. She had morning shifts from 8-12 that were suddenly changed to the shitter opening 7-11 pm shift & and the closing 6:30-11:00PM shifts… so basically she never hit a 5th hour but was very close. Basically they extract her for more extra labor and get away not paying her for it. So to the schedule and upper management fucking over my coworker like this: FUCK YOU.

Overall, I hate this company & upper management with a burning passion but it pays my bills monthly… My coworkers on the other hand are the only sane part of this job as they all agree to the crap that is going on around here. My advice: shop here for small items only, all the meat items are giant rip off ($9.99 for 2 small midget steaks lmfao), and never seek employment here unless you wanna lose your mind & see corruption at its finest.

Have a nice day and stay tuned!


Employee Experience / TargetSucks

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