Target Sucks - We Hate Target and We Know We're Not Alone.

January 10, 2015 - cactus

Miserable Assholes

So why would someone open an entire chain of stores just to be a dick to someone?  Because its much more effective.  And you would never be able to garner the same level of hatred from society, unless you were like the president or something.  Anyways, my story goes as follows.

Exactly 5 years ago (maybe 59 months or so) I swore I would never enter a Target store again.  I bought a brand new bicycle that broke the next day.  The back wheel seized up and stopped turning before I put 10 miles on the bike.  I returned to the store with this piece of shit Chinese pile of garbage to get my $200 back.  The target asshole told me I can’t return the bike because I rode it.  I’m like no shit jerkoff, I had to ride the piece of shit in order to find out that it didn’t work, and I tried to ride it in the store before I bought it and one of you assholes told me not to ride the bike in the store and it doesn’t fucking work.

So then this asshole told me I can’t return it but I can donate it back as a gift.  The nerve of this cocksucker.  I looked this asshole dead in the eye and said “this piece of shit is not a gift.  it doesn’t fucking work.  either give my money back or I will throw it in the garbage and never return.”  He acknowledged and may have muttered under his breath something to the effect of “that’s what I would do.”

So I went outside, lifted the bicycle up over my head and smashed it onto a garbage can as hard as I could, right in front of a cop too.  The bike bounced off the garbage can all over the sidewalk and the cop didn’t say a word to me, just kind of nodded as if to say “right on man.”

I went across the street to wal-mart and bought a new bike.  I rode it for about a year and when it got rusty, I took it back to wal mart and gave it to the kid in the parking lot collecting shopping carts, then went back inside and bought the same bike again.

I would have done the same at target, but they are assholes and they don’t want me to shop there.

So fast forward to today.  These evil fucking cocksuckers.  I wasn’t even pissed off at all before this happened, which is how I got lured into a target store again.  I needed to get cash back from a transaction, and I wanted to buy some walnuts.  So theres a target store right fucking in front of me and I thought, how bad could it be?  Oh man was I wrong.

I walk into this super target and I don’t see any food anywhere.  Just a bunch of cheap knock off clothes and bunch of red dots and shit everywhere, like some sick and twisted traffic experiment meant to confuse a guy with a computer science degree and gifted intelligence level according to a leading university.

I ask a girl where are walnuts.  She gets a little confused.  I ask if this is a super target that has food and grocery and walnuts and shit.  Shes like yeah I guess.  So I walk all the way to the opposite corner of the store, like over 1/4 mile.  Theres fucking walnuts alright.  5 feet away from the emergency exit corner door are walnuts.

But not even just fucking walnuts.  Every kind of nut you can buy EXCEPT JUST FUCKING WALNUTS!!!  Are you fucking kidding me assholes!

I come here for one fucking thing and you make me walk all the way to the exact opposite corner of the store to buy a walnut mix that has pecans and almonds and a bunch of bullshit that I never wanted!

I’m going to write the CEO this time.  And I’m going to send it priority express so the CEO himself has to sign for it.  And I’m going to demand my $200 back for the bike they sold me that didn’t fucking work.  But they are too fucking miserable to give it to me I’m sure.

Even worse, what if they sent me a $200 gift card!  What the fuck!


Customer Experience / TargetSucks


  • TargetSucks says:

    You're nuts. 😉

  • rainprincess64 says:

    Hate to tell you this man but when you return things it'll be in the form of a gift card! It's really r******d and this is coming from a very disgruntled cashier. I guess it's also the guests who can't stand the way Tarshit does things. I'm sorry the store couldn't give a refund for a truly defunct product. They give whiny ass bitch guests whatever they want yet the genuine ones get screwed over too. UGH

  • cactus says:

    They wouldn't return it, so I got nothing. And I really hardly ever complain about anything or try to return anything.


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