We all know her voice. That sharp, grating, bitchy tone that snaps at you in the middle of your work like some pissed-off grandma who never makes cookies, despite her promises to do so. That grandma that sits in the casino on Keno Night, slamming her bony, gaudy-ringed fingers on that “Draw” button faster than a woodpecker can drill a borehole. That grandma that smokes too much and doesn’t like her grandkids, because she didn’t like (or plan) her own kids to begin with.
…The lady’s voice on the Target walkie.
I know, I know…You love Target more than life itself, and you’re sitting there saying, “Yes, Hate_me…tell me how I can lose my job so that I can do the exact opposite and WORK THERE THE REST OF MY LIFE!” It’s ok. I’ve got your back. I survived 5 years at Target–not because I was a rule-abiding “Team Member”, but because I knew about my Store Team Lead’s extramarital affair…with another Senior Team Lead in the store. Who, by the way, had a giant fucking camel toe. This shit was ridiculous. It looked like a folded mattress in her pants.
Here are some basic, simple rules to follow if you want to not only keep your job, but get promoted as well at Target. Stick to these, and you’ll be high-fiving your Store Team Lead with your cock in no time.
(1) Never work hard. Ever. If at all possible, only “pretend” to work hard when there is a guests nearby, at which point, you are to bury your head into your PDA and walk away as fast as you can.
I still hate Target, even after 3 years of not working there after I quit with 2-weeks notice. I seriously fucking HATE Target. Living in a small-ish Montana town, I don’t have a whole shitload of options as to where to shop, unless I wanna go and battle the white trash at Wal Mart for the last can of spray cheese. And let’s be honest; no one’s gonna win the battle against a raging bowling alley fat mama who wants her fuckin’ spray cheese and she wants it NOW. I’m a buck-twenty-five; I can’t risk being squished by a large Marge who has gotta have her Ritz and cheese for a midnight snack attack. But I digress.
Recently, Target experienced a major problem with their gift cards. When a guest was paying for a gift card, many, many cashiers were scanning the QR code instead of the barcode. The result was a lot of gift cards that actually had no money on them, but the guest had been charged for it.
Target; love it, hate it, burn it down, or just screw them over the way they’ve screwed over millions before you.
Behold, the way to get cheap shit from Target…
First, go online and shop on Target’s website. Whatever you want. Just buy the shit out of it. Make sure it’s only available online, though.
Then return it at the store once you get it delivered.
They’ll mark the price down 90% as an “Online Only” product, just to get it the hell out of the store since they have nowhere to put it on Planograms.
Then find it on the appropriate department’s clearance endcap and re-buy that shit.
I am typing in Bold font because I’m a pain in the ass and I don’t care. I worked at Target twice: once in 2003, and again from 2007-2012. During that time, I saw many seasonal workers come and go. Before, if you were a seasonal worker that they didn’t want to hang on to past the Christmas season, you would find out the hard way: by showing up to work and realizing that you had been taken off the schedule, or not scheduled on the new one that comes out each week. No one would explain anything to you; as to why they had chosen to let you go, etc. You were just given the boot.
I quit Target almost a year ago, but my passionate hatred for this hellish company still pulses like a writhing demon inside of my body. Okay, it’s not quite THAT dramatic, but I do fucking hate Target with a good chunk of my cold heart. I quit because I was sick of retards who call themselves “leaders” wandering around, poking their PDA in an attempt to look busy, all the while telling us what to do because they had no idea how to do it themselves. That, or they were too fucking lazy.
I am going to college now to major in Forensic Science, with a minor in Criminal Justice. I won’t lie; one of my hopes is that I’ll eventually stumble upon a former boss as the victim in a crime scene. But I digress…I started working at Target because of their flexible schedule, allowing for me to attend college without much fuss.
I met my now-husband at Target. He is the “Signing Guy” as I call him, since Target’s wishy-washy ways cause Team Members’ titles to be changed at the drop of a hat so that the corporation has a good excuse to cap out people at even lower wage limits. My husband has busted his ass for Target for almost 6 years now. Thankfully, he’ll be leaving as soon as we relocate to accommodate my college studies. However, as of now, he remains a slave to the industry.
He has found the wonderful feeling that all jaded Target employees eventually discover: the feeling of not giving a shit anymore.
That’s right, Target…poop on you. Them’s fightin’ words. I quit Target after 4 1/2 years. I mainly worked in Apparel, since I’m female and Target is sexist. 🙂 I transferred from a high-volume, do-everything-right store…to a low-volume, “What the fuck are we doing?” store. Anyways, long story short, I brought the store from consistent Red visits in Apparel to consistent Green visits. I re-trained existing employees on Brand, culture, POG and Sales Planner building, zoning, etc…. My team lead was a dude….who had NO idea what the hell he was doing. He’d done price accuracy or POG crap…or some such shit in Hardlines his whole “career”. (I put career in quotations, because anyone who considers Target their long-term employment enrichment source is smoking something). Anyways, I quit January 21st, and so obviously there was no longer anyone there to fix his fuck-up’s. Well, his visits went from good to “What the hell happened?”. He was transferred out of Apparel and back into Hardlines for being a screw up from Hell, and some other dipshit who has no idea what he’s doing has been put there instead.
I love this story because I was under-appreciated and taken advantage of while I was there. I fixed my Team Lead’s massive fuck ups for him daily, while he got pats on the back every visit by our DTL who didn’t even know my name…although I was the one rocking out with my metaphorical cock out.
Now they see what a dumbass this dude is and gave him the boot back to Hardlines. I just love it. And I love not having to ever walk back in there and see that stupid-ass Spot. Ugh…I hate that dog.
Hello, fellow Target haters. I am very pleased to announce that after almost 5 years of slavery to this hellish company, I have put in my notice and am running the f*ck away. I will never shop Target after my last day, as I now know how the employees are treated. The only reason I shop there as it is, is because I work there and get the measly 10% discount. (Pinch me!! TEN percent??).
During my time at Targay, I broke the golden rule of never having your cell phone on the sales floor…and I used my cell phone to take pictures of my bosses breaking rules, being lazy, and projects that were wildly f*cked up beyond comprehension. (Projects my boss either did, or assigned to somebody else and ignored their screw ups). I took pictures of the projects after I’d go in and fix them up, and I’m e-mailing it all to my district team lead this Saturday. Not so that I can ever have a chance at getting a job there again, but so that the employees I’m leaving behind might have it a little better once the DTL sees what’s going on there. Not just the perfectly-zoned store, or the fake smiles, or hearing the prepared answers to his questions.
I find that after reading through this site quite thoroughly that I am definitely not alone in my experiences with Target. I have worked at several different stores, and while I was employed at the first store, I thought, ‘This place is so messed up…I should transfer to a store that treats its employees fairly’. So I did transfer, and found the exact same problems at that store…management is lazy, employees are unhappy, and nobody has any real qualifications to be leaders…they don’t even really possess natural leadership abilities. They are simply young kids, fresh out of college, who scored a gig being a manager at a Big Box retail store. Since most of them are all in their early 20’s, they still have the egotism of a toddler first breaking free of its dependence on its parents. Target’s management staff is oftentimes totalitarian, and is ran like a dictatorship. The management places themselves on a pedestal, not realizing that they are simply poorly-paid employees of a much bigger picture.