September 5, 2016 - cooked_ham_king
Target’s my pay and benefits site was created by Helen Keller ca. 1920
I’ve been fiercely ripping out my pubic hair as I try to re-enter this site after being locked out.
Not realizing there’s a different password/username combo for the pay and benefits site than that of eHR/Workbench, I tried several different passwords and got locked out. It’s hard to remember your current password when Target forces you to change it more frequently than your online bank account. In fact, it’s really fucking annoying.
The ONLY option given on the site is to receive a temporary password in the mail– yes, the physical mail, in an envelope… Wait, what?… Why the FUCK… in 2016… ugh, never mind.
Fuck that. I dialed the Target Benefits Center 800 number in hopes of getting a new password. Big surprise: it’s a shitty automated menu system– the kind that sucks away 10 minutes of your life each time you muster up the patience to call back, having thrown your phone at the fucking wall last time you were tortured into hanging up. God forbid a $50 billion company with 300,000 employees should have to pay human beings to answer their calls.
What’s more is it doesn’t even let you select your options with the dial keys– you have to actually speak out loud to an annoying recorded voice and say “YES” to confirm that it heard your answers correctly. So, you have to waste a bunch of time time AND feel stupid.
After an eternity of trying to navigate through the labyrinth of “Para continuar en Español, diga-”
“FUUCK!!!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that… Please select one of the following options…”
I finally realized that each and every option eventually led to a dead end, which required me to enter the password that I was FUCKING CALLING TO HAVE CHANGED IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE!!! YOU FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT OVERPAID INCOMPETENT TARGET TECH DICKHEADS EAT MY ASSSHOLE #asdf89″AS{]wpCOCK FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Now, I’m waiting for my password to arrive in the physical mail… in an envelope.
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"I’ve been fiercely ripping out my pubic hair as I try to re-enter this site after being locked out." LOL!!! When I first read that I thought you were talking about this website since I just switched hosting companies a couple times...then I read the title of your post. 🙂